“”"A dog is the only
thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself
If there are
no dogs in heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went. ~ Will Rogers
If
our pets are well integrated into our lives, they become family members. Love
is love, no matter where it lands, and if we lose a pet we love, grief
naturally follows. Each pet owner, no matter if the pet is a dog, cat, bird,
rodent or reptile, may experience the loss of this
family member in very profound ways.
In
this newsletter, we will assume that you may be in the process of deciding it
best to end your pet’s suffering, because of illness or age, or, have lost your
pet suddenly, through accident or disappearance. Perhaps your loss happened
recently or some time ago.
If
your pet is very ill or old, and you have decided on euthanasia, talk to your
vet about how best to help through the transition. If you feel that your vet
doesn’t respect you, call another vet. For people who cannot transport their
pet to the vet’s office, many will come to the home to perform this procedure.
If you can drive to the office, but can’t, or don’t wish, to take your pet
inside (due to an accident, or the animal is too old or uncomfortable), ask
your vet to come to your car in the parking lot. If this is the best choice,
you may wish to park in a private place, away from the view of pedestrians or
traffic.
Before
the procedure, to avoid additional stress, discuss with your vet’s staff what
you or their office will do with the remains. There are several options,
including cremation or taking the body home or elsewhere to bury. (First, be
sure to ask about local regulations and ordinances.)
Be
honest with children about the loss. Give children and family members an
opportunity to say goodbye. Everyone in the family needs to decide if and how
they want to honor their relationship. At the same time, don’t try to force
emotions or any encounters that may be uncomfortable for either the person or
the pet.
Being
with your pet during the procedure is a very personal decision. There is no
right or wrong, but it is important that you say goodbye. The procedure itself
is painless and peaceful for your pet and happens very quickly, so it’s wise if
you say your goodbyes beforehand.
During
the procedure, it’s best if you are calm and reassuring. Your pet won’t
understand why you are upset and will be happier if you bring comfort. It may
be wise to have a friend or family member along to support you afterwards.
Remember that, though you may be burying your pet, it’s better not to bury your
emotions.
After
your pet is gone, remembering her through stories and photos, and perhaps
creating a memorial, can be very healing for the people left behind. A memorial
can be something tangible, like planting a tree or shrub, or creating an album
of your pet’s photos. Or, it can be reminiscing with family and friends about
your pet’s life, or both, plus whatever else feels right.
There
is no right or wrong way to grieve and getting over your loss takes as long as
it takes. Family, friends and co-workers may not understand, and may even show
impatience if you don’t recover in what they consider a timely manner. They
might not have ever been close to a pet (their loss) or don’t wish to remember
how the loss affected them. Any rejection, depression or isolation you feel
could be due to what is called ‘Disenfranchised Grief’,
or, mourning a loss not recognized as ‘legitimate’. A good website to visit is:
Grief Support: Onsite Pet Care Services:
There
is also no right or wrong way in when or how to bring another pet into your
life. The only words of caution are not to rush and not to try to replace
your pet by seeking to find one who looks or acts the same. Like people, all
pets are unique and need to be loved for themselves. You will always remember
your pet, no matter with whom you choose to now share your life.
Last
month, Oprah promised to support adoption and dedicated her show on the cruelty
of puppy mills to her recently deceased Cocker Spaniel, Sophie. When you’re
ready for another pet, remember the populations of wonderful animals available
for adoption through shelters and rescue leagues.
All
three locations have employment openings: Please call if you’re interested as a
groomer, bather or receptionist. We will train.
Written by Rebecca Nilson-Owens